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techtubadiva
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Name: Meagan
Location: Durant, Oklahoma, United States
Birthday: 1/2/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: Fashioning canoes out of driftwood, testing expiration dates on milk dates, knitting toilet paper cozies, and making orphans cry.
Expertise: Live to be loud, inappropriate, and an ass as often as humanly possible, so enjoy!!!
Occupation: Legal
Industry: Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Beanerita81
Yahoo:  Beanerita81
Member Since:
9/24/2003
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| What do a nun giving sex advice, a double amputee teaching tap, a Special Olympian tutoring me in Calculus, and a severely intoxicated jackass telling me how to drive all have in common? They aren't in any place to be doing any of these things! So now...let the rant commence.
So I looked forward to plans Friday evening with great anticipation. I mean c'mon, dinner at Roma's with Tiff and then meeting up with the Spooners for Karaoke frolic at Stagecoach. All was going swimmingly until Kerry got a phone call from a certain drunken male friend of ours saying that he would come out if one of us would come and get him because he was already shit-faced. Sweet Jesus!!! It wasn't even 10 o'clock yet! But since the equation had been completed (which as a refresher is Kerry + Jager=Meagan's gotta drive) guess who got to drive back to Durant and Miss Daisy his ass out to the bar? Grrr arrgh and some shit!!
It wouldn't have been so bad had he not been slurring his speech already and stumbling around but he on occasion does excel at making it worse. As we are heading back out of town he starts hounding me because I'm in the fast lane and questioning me as to why I am in the left lane. There's no traffic for starters, it's isn't posted left lane for passing only, and lastly because I FUCKING FEEL LIKE BEING IN THE LEFT LANE! Then I have to listen about how he was pulled over for that when he was driving through Kansas once. Well, guess what? You're not in Kansas anymore Toto!!! I'm sorry, but when you're not slurring your speech and stumbling around to get into the car then I may heed your advice in the mean time...shut up...shut the fuck up! I swear to all that is sacred had I not been driving someone else's car, he would have so mastered the tuck and roll. So needless to say once we got to the bar I wanted to get as much distance between us otherwise I would have yakked his sack off like a paper towel. But I'm very thankful to my Spooners sensing my mood and altering with a vodka tonic....much love to you ladies!
Then when we are driving home and I'm trying to have a conversation with Leslie, this aforementioned ass interrupts by going, "blah blah blah blah." One, you're not part of the conversation; you're blathering commentary isn't necessary. Two, you making it a point to equating what I have to say to my friend as inane babble only pisses me off. Three, should you ever do that to me when we were only trying to be nice so you wouldn't be stuck at home and bored, I'm going to grind the heel of my boot into your taint like it's a fucking cigarette butt.
End rant. Have a great week guys!
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| | Ahhh yes...in just a few hours the most loathed holidays shall commence: Valentine's Day or as I like to call it...Sucks to be Single Day! The one day out of the whole year when we Singletons are scorned upon for not having a significant other and we are regarded as freaks of nature or lepers. So be careful when you are out and about especially if your "blissfully attached" friends are carrying stones with them that are just the perfect size for throwing. Because, as we all know, if you're single on thi particular day there is something horrendously wrong with you. As I have observed the various rituals that take place on this holiday, I have come to a conclusion. Valentine's Day is a corporate conspiracy by the new Axis of Evil: the Candy, Floral, Jewelry, and Restaurant industries that insist that if you are with someone you have to spend a small fortune on them to show them that you love them and if you are single you will die alone and miserable with only your Betta fish and houseplants to mourn you. So tomorrow for me boys and girls is just Wednesday. I'll sub tomorrow and then my girls and I are going to use the money we saved not having to conform to the holiday status quo and go to the movies together. So to the Axis of Evil I say this to you. You can take your refrigerated roses, Whitman's samplers, cubic zirconias, and your microwaved appetizers add a little IDGlide and shove it up your proverbial Hershey Highways!!! So like any other day just want to give a shout out to those I love with all my heart and that is my family, my Boo, P3, my Spooners, Mu Gamma Nu, and my ghetto babies...I FRIGGIN' LOVE YOU! Shameless Hussy out!!! |
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| She's still here folks just working her rather ample ass off that's all. I've been subbing like a mo-fo!!! I did have a very fun day on Tuesday though, I got to direct the Middle School bands while all the directors were gone to marching contest in Lawton...muwahahahahaha!!! Talk about the patients running the asylum!! I think the drummers enjoyed such musical direction as, "C'mon percussion...put some more stank on it!" That was too much fun! I'm proud to announce that Steven did survive the trip to LA. You guys didn't scare him...too much...j/k. He can't wait to come back down. Steven took me to meet his mother last weekend and surprisingly enough his mother loves me...who'd a thought it huh? Now I guess I gotta work up the nerve to introduce him to my folks....oh God! This should be great. Since, I've started subbing I have noticed something that has been appearing rather prevalently and there are some who may disagree with me when I say this and that is...some of these kids need to have their asses beat...OMG! If I ever behaved like some of these kids do my dad would whoop my ass. Some of these kids are like retarded hamsters hopped up on speed and just observing them makes me want to weld plate steel over my vagina...sorry to be blunt folks but that's just how I feel. So in summation, been really busy, things are going great with Steven, and subbing has encouraged to have plenty of birth control on hand. Peace out my freaky darlings! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOJO SISTER!!! | | |
| Here I am! I promise I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Things have been insane over the last few weeks. The schools here have been keeping me busy with all the substitute teaching I've been doing. I'm really enjoying it so much more than Child Support. I've been subbing at all the grade levels and I'm thinking of working on getting my certification. Me a teacher? Who'd a thought it huh? This may be my key to world domination....warping the minds of the future...MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Other interesting things have emerged. I am an aunt again; my big sister had her baby on 9/20. I've gotta say, Abigail Elise Justus is one gorgeous little girl she'll either breaking hearts while whoopin' ass that's all I've got to say about that. I've started dating someone. His name is Steven and he really is a great person. We have a great time together and he hasn't ended up curled up in a fetal position so he may last a while. We'll see if that's the case after homecoming next week...heheehehehehe. Hope things are going well for everyone and for you guys down in LA...see you guys next weekend...WOOHOO!!! | | |
| What a Labor Day huh? Molly and I schlepped our way up to Memphis for the long holiday weekend and a much-needed reunion with the Boo and the Techdaddy and Techmommy, et al. Due to recent vocational bullshit, I have been under some considerable stress so I decided that my goal for this particular trip was to get so fucked up that I forgot about all that shit...I must say, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! Thank you so much Kyle, John, Missy, Jammi, Courtney, Donny, and Chris. You all made my visit so much fun I had a great time and I can't wait to get to see you guys again. I could have done without the vomit but hey...for good times you have to pay the price...PUKE AND RALLY!!! Beale St. was definitely interesting. We actually saw a wedding party in full regalia walking down Beale. The Bride should have had someone lock her in a port-a-potty and rolled it down a hill because by the end of the night that was exactly what she was going to look like. We went into Coyote Ugly where it was white chicks with no rhythm night. I saw the female Rod Stewart complete w/platinum spiked hair and skin like luggage...grrr that's hot. There was even a guy in a Elmo suit walking around letting people take pics of him for $2...that's quite an enterprise if I do say so myself. Kyle cooked some phenomenal food on Sunday. I knew that Boo could cook but DAMN!!! Drove back on Monday and then went out to Tokyo w/the Nooners and the B-day girl Shana Banana. We had a great time enjoying some tasty food and discussing hummers and my sham marriage with Casey...good times. Major decisions have been made. Apparently I got approved to substitute teach because I'll be subbing tomorrow, Monday-Wednesday. As of the 15th, I will no longer be working in child support and all I can say is....THANK YOU GOD!!! Free at last....free at last...well Hell, you know the rest! Wish me luck on polluting the minds of the future...muwahahahaha!!! Later Taters!!! | | |
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